


my years are written on you

by Florchis



Category: Naruto
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-20
Updated: 2019-07-25
Packaged: 2020-07-09 00:37:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 3,859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19878724
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Florchis/pseuds/Florchis
Summary: A Collection of Kakasaku Drabbles





	1. “I came to say goodbye.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm doing a multiship Drabble Challenge during July. You can see[ here](https://florchis.tumblr.com/post/186074343831/naruto-drabbles-masterpost%22) my Masterpost, I am accepting prompts here or [ on tumblr](https://florchis.tumblr.com/ask).

Among the many things Sakura would like to be able to teach her younger self, there is this one: don’t be too hard on people trying to skip on goodbyes. Because goodbyes fucking suck.  
  
The window is unlocked when she pushes it up. It is a little childish because she does have keys to his apartment, but still: he made this bed, and now she gotta make him lay on it. However, he is not asleep when she gets in, but instead sitting on the bed, reading. Sakura can’t help but wince; he sure likes his crazy hours.  
  
“Hey, you.” He salutes from the bed, without taking his eyes off the page. She wonders, sometimes, if he assumes it will be her or if he is just really good at telling when it’s her. She might as well enlist Naruto for a trial test of it someday, just for the kicks.  
  
She sits on the windowsill, feet dangling in the moonlight, and cuts straight to the chase.   
  
“I came to say goodbye.”  
  
Kakashi closes the book then, looks at her with unreadable eyes.   
  
“Wind?”  
  
Sakura nods, refusing to show appreciation for the way he just _knows_ ; otherwise, he would never drop it.   
  
“Suna, yes.”  
  
“Two weeks, probably, then.”  
  
“If not more.”  
  
“If not more.” She wonders, sometimes, if they are doing this the right way: since they have no certainty for tomorrow, shouldn’t they be throwing themselves at each other’s arms, living every day like the last, each goodbye like a tragedy, each missed moment like a hole that only keeps on growing? “See you when you come back, then.”  
  
But who gives a fuck about the right way; the only thing that matters is the way that works, and this works for them: _don’t you dare die, because I am waiting for you. There is no need to be dramatic: we will get another chance. We could always have more, and_ we will.  
  
“See you when I come back, then.”


	2. "I don’t deserve to be loved.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm doing a multiship Drabble Challenge during July. You can see[ here](https://florchis.tumblr.com/post/186074343831/naruto-drabbles-masterpost%22) my Masterpost, I am accepting prompts here or [ on tumblr](https://florchis.tumblr.com/ask).

She would be lying if she said she wasn’t expecting at least one demonstration of cold feet on his part. It’s not that she doesn’t trust him, or maybe it is, but it is also more than that: by now, she knows him well enough to know that any decision that doesn’t come conflicted on his part is because he doesn’t care about it enough.  
  
So she isn’t surprised when Kakashi visits her again not even three hours after they parted after their first date. She is ready to talk him out of any idiotic idea that might have gotten inside his mind in that time, and reassure him of her stance on the matter; she would have been a bit bummed if she didn’t get the chance to prove how strongly she feels about this, to be honest.  
  
She was ready to fight, to argue, to prove; what she wasn’t expecting was him to get inside her bedroom, and instead of being apologetic or distant, hug her with everything he got.  
  
Sakura had never been hugged like that before- and considering that Naruto is her best friend and his hugs are pretty dope, that is saying something: every point of contact is being actively engaged, his large hands sprawled on her back, the foot he has on her height-wise making him hunch and therefore allowing him to completely wrap her on his arms.  
  
“Kakashi.” There is no reply, and she gives him ten more seconds to compose himself. His breathing is ragged on her neck, but for someone with his training, she knows it was not exhaustion what made him breathless. “Not that I don’t appreciate the hug, but what is wrong?”  
  
“I was thinking about you.” His lips send tingles through her veins, and she pushes back the excitement at all the possibilities. She will make sure to make that reminiscence an enjoyable experience next time. “I was thinking about you, and I started dragging myself down, and I figured there was no one better to pull me out of that funk than you.”  
  
She breaks apart from him till she can push him to the bed; he lets himself fall, and she curls herself on his chest, her ear straight over his chest.  
  
“Wanna talk about it?”  
  
He inhales and exhales, and she lets her eyes close to the rhythm of his beating heart.   
  
“There is not much to talk about. I don’t deserve to be loved, we already knew that. Especially not loved by someone like you.” She doesn’t immediately jump to remind him of the many conversations they had during the last couple of years; the fact that he is here is proof that he is doing better, and she gotta trust him to do his own process on his own time. “But oh, how much I want it.”  
  
She waits another beat, her heart full of love and sorrow.   
  
“You didn’t deserve any of the terrible things that happened to you either, Kakashi,” she reminds him when it’s obvious he won’t talk anymore. There is rage in her body, but there is also hope. “So fuck deserving. Here, we take what we want.”


	3. “Oh, Are you ticklish?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm doing a multiship Drabble Challenge during July. You can see [ here](https://florchis.tumblr.com/post/186074343831/naruto-drabbles-masterpost%22) my Masterpost. I am accepting prompts here or [ on tumblr](https://florchis.tumblr.com/ask).

“Have I mentioned lately how much I like your body?”  
  
Kakashi lives, if he is being honest, for moments like this. Sex is great, of course, but no one could ever convince him that this- Sakura clad only in her underwear, her skin bathed in sunlight, sitting on top of his hips while her hands roam his chest- isn’t better.  
  
“Good to know that you are not with me for something fleeting like my rank; no, you are with me for something perdurable, like my body.”  
  
She rolls her eyes, but her hands keep on stroking, and Kakashi hums in appreciation.  
  
“I am paying you a compliment. Don’t be a douchebag.”  
  
He has more than one pertinent snarky remark in backup for that, but he keeps quiet; he is enjoying the attention, and he knows how to choose his battles, even if he doesn’t always do it. Sakura drops the subject too, her thumbs rubbing paths across scarred skin and heartwrenching memories. His eyes are not open, but he wouldn’t be surprised to see that her skin is curative by itself and that she is replacing on his cellular memory the ghosts of pain with the certainty of love.  
  
Until her fingers grace the underside of his ribs, and he freezes. Ever the medic, Sakura notices immediately, and instead of moving on, presses the subject.  
  
“What is wrong? Do your sides hurt?”  
  
Kakashi bites his lip, considering his options. He could lie and say yes, and that would earn him a healing session and an undeserved lecture on proper healthcare. He could say the truth and say no, but then she would know that there is something else going on, and somehow that could be a worse option than letting her wrongly believe that he is hurt.  
  
“No.”  
  
“What the- Oh!” Realization dawns on her, and her eyes light up like a summer festival. Her face is almost worth the fact that now she possesses that kind of leverage over him. Almost, but not quite. “Kakashi, are you ticklish?”   
  
“No.” She graces her fingers on his skin once again while she looks at him pointedly, and he squirms. Sakura laughs like a child. “Don’t you dare, Haruno Sakura.”  
  
“Or what?”  
  
“Or this.” He anchors his hands on her hips to reverse their position, his long body pinning her down to the bed, his hands holding hers above her head.   
  
“Oh, no, what a hardship, having a handsome man on top of me.”  
  
He loves when she is like this- carefree, unabashed, comfortable enough to be at the same time wanton and mocking. It might even be worth it that she now knows one of his weakest spots. He nibbles at her throat and Sakura stretches her body taut, rolling her hips against his and making them both moan.  
  
“What a hardship indeed.”


	4. “I wish we could stay like this forever.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm doing a multiship Drabble Challenge during July. You can see [ here](https://florchis.tumblr.com/post/186074343831/naruto-drabbles-masterpost%22) my Masterpost. I am accepting prompts here or [ on tumblr](https://florchis.tumblr.com/ask).

Kakashi stretches on the bed, the sunlight warming his feet without hurting his eyes, and if he is not prone to waking up on a regular day, today he is feeling particularly uninclined to do so.   
  
“I wish we could stay like this forever,” he calls, barely a mumble, hugging the pillow and letting his eyes fall pleasantly closed.  
  
Sakura lets out a choked laugh, and he follows the sound with his arm, stretching a hand on that direction until he finds the soft expanse of her thigh. Score.  
  
“That is because you are lazy.” Sakura gives the back of his hand a chastening tap but otherwise doesn’t remove it, and Kakashi takes up the opportunity to snake it all the way up to her hip. “Kakashi, don’t be like _that.”_  
  
He rolls on the bed until he is closer, and his hand moves up her belly to rest just under her ribs, his thumb stroking lazily the side of her breast.  
  
“Like what?” He looks at her heatedly while he asks, his touch growing heavy and intentional.  
  
She is glaring at him, but her muscles are trembling, and her cheeks are taut with the effort to not smile.  
  
“Like nothing outside of this room matters.”  
  
He moves even closer until he can drop a kiss to the top of her thigh, his hand still on her chest. The kiss is slow, deliberate, and he relishes on the hitch of Sakura’s breath when he breaks the contact skin on skin.   
  
“Does it, though?”  
  
She runs a hand on his hair, and he lets himself be petted like a dog. Her hand drops from his hair to his face, and with careful but strong fingers, she pushes on his chin until he lifts himself up and kisses her.  
  
“You could try to convince me otherwise.”


	5. "Are you flirting with me?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm doing a multiship Drabble Challenge during July. You can see [ here](https://florchis.tumblr.com/post/186074343831/naruto-drabbles-masterpost%22) my Masterpost. I am accepting prompts here or [ on tumblr](https://florchis.tumblr.com/ask).

“That was a nice punch,” Kakashi points out, lying breathless on the ground.   
  
He managed to avoid the split of the earth by the width of a hair, but she is getting better and better at realizing his position with her eyes closed and all his barriers up; the day when he won’t be able to avoid it any longer is coming at a punishing pace. He can not wait.  
  
“It was as much of a fail as the previous ten, so don’t coddle me,” she grumbles at him, and Kakashi pats the ground at his side as an open invitation.  
  
“No, it wasn’t. I know it is hard to realize how good you have gotten when you see it from inside your own skin. But believe me, when you see it from my point of view, it is fucking impressive.”  
  
Sakura slumps down on the ground, legs crossed and her jaw resting on her open palm, eyeing him carefully.   
  
“Kakashi, are you flirting with me?”  
  
He gasps, outraged.  
  
“Me? How you _dare.”_ His words are of indignation, but since he pronounces them in his usual slow, drowsy tone, they lose some of their effect. “I would never flirt with you, Sakura.”  
  
“Oh, right.” She punches him in the ribs; it intends to be friendly, but she puts a bit more force on it than necessary, and Kakashi rolls onto his side to avoid a next one. “I forgot that after the first year of marriage there is no such thing as flirting anymore.”  
  
“You are damn right,” he claims with a shaking fist raised in the air, and Sakura almost tells him that he looks like an old man, but refrains herself. “From now on, there is only nagging and bickering. You better get used to it.”  
  
Sakura heaves a big, fake sigh, hands raised in the air.  
  
“I knew you were a nagging, bickering old man when I married you, so I guess I had it coming.”  
  
Kakashi rolls back to her side again, a pout on his lips.  
  
“I’m not _that_ old.”  
  
She hooks a finger on his vest and lifts up his chest until he can kiss her with only that one finger, and that _is_ impressive.  
  
“Then prove it.”


	6. “I’m going to keep you safe.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm doing a multiship Drabble Challenge during July. You can see [ here](https://florchis.tumblr.com/post/186074343831/naruto-drabbles-masterpost%22) my Masterpost. I am accepting prompts here or [ on tumblr](https://florchis.tumblr.com/ask).

There is something jarring about seeing Kakashi laying on a hospital bed, absolutely still.   
  
The unease doesn’t come only from her feelings for him, or so Sakura tells herself. Ever since she met him almost a decade ago, she has never ever seen him not on the lockout. Sure, he plays it lazy and unattentive, and though those things aren’t exactly untrue about him, they are not fully accurate either. He can afford to have his nose deep in a book during missions because he has the quickest reflexes she has ever seen. He is swift and precise and powerful: if he were at his hundred percent at all times it would just be unfair for the rest of them.  
  
But Sakura has never seen him looking so unlike himself, with an ill-fitting gown that dwarfs him, ashen-faced and without enough energy to even put up a fight. Now that she is no longer concerned for his wellbeing, health-wise, she can entertain the idea that maybe she should bring an Icha-Icha book for his bedside table, to give the room a pop of color at the very least.   
  
It makes you realize things, seeing a loved one bed-ridden, vulnerable, human. She sees enough pain and dread on a daily basis to understand the deep roots of how they, as shinobi, are cursing themselves to their losses; still, it has not hardened her heart yet.  
  
“You will get out of this.” She leans over to kiss his forehead, just over his scar. She likes the scars on him: not the pain they carry, but the reminder that he endures. Always the epitome of a shinobi, her Kakashi. “I’m going to keep you safe, and we will get through this." 


	7. “We cant keep this up forever."

“We can’t keep this up forever,” mumbles Kakashi from where he is sprawled horizontally, his head hanging down from the edge of the bed.  
  
Sakura smiles fondly at him, even while he is being completely useless in the Very Important Bussiness of finding out where is her missing bra.   
  
“Keep what up?”  
  
“This.” He makes a vague gesture on the air, and Sakura’s blood freezes inside her veins. “You know what I mean.”  
  
She does, in a way. For the last eighteen months, they have pretended to be light and breezy in this relationship- and have failed spectacularly on more occasions than one, if Sakura can say so herself. All their close friends knowing and the key to his apartment that rests in her pouch sort of proving her point. The moment they failed to keep it a secret from Naruto, well, they should have realized that they were being shitty at the light-and-breezy business.   
  
So, sure, she can agree that they have almost reached the point of ridicule. The problem is that his perspective about how to proceed from here might not align with hers, and that is the reason why she has been dreading touching on this topic for so long. She wanted to capitalize on this relationship for as long as possible.  
  
Ah, there is her bra. Good timing, because she feels more naked than ever.  
  
“I do know what you mean.”   
  
She sits on the bed, very careful about not touching him, and leaves her hair down so he can’t see her face easily. Kakashi places his hand on her knee, and Sakura feels the contact as ice torrents shooting on her nerves in every direction.  
  
“And what do you think we should do about it?” His voice is tender, and Sakura doesn’t understand why he is playing with her instead of making a clean break; he is lethal but she has never known him to be cruel, and it would be ill timing for him to change that now.  
  
“Does it matter?” It is astonishing, how much can things change in a handful of minutes, how she went from being naked and laughing on his bed to being this pile of anxiety.  
  
“It does.” Maybe he is being oblivious on purpose because she can not imagine him not realizing how taut she is holding her muscles and how closed off her expression is, not with the way he has grown to read her body oh so well. “Would you like to do the honors or would you prefer if I do it myself?”  
  
That’s the straw that breaks the camel’s back for her.  
  
“Why, you don’t have the guts to do it yourself? Because I won’t do you the favor of making things easy for you, no, sir.” She manages to say it all in one go without crying, and that’s a big enough win as she can aspire to.  
  
Sakura knows she has hit the big nail on the head when a long silence follows her statement. And then he lifts his body and looks at her with his classic impassible expression.   
  
“What.” He says it with flat intonation, not a question at all, and Sakura doesn’t offer an answer for what he doesn’t dare ask. “I don’t understand. Does that mean that you will be okay with moving here?”  
  
Sakura almost chokes. It’s her turn then to ask, “What?”  
  
“Wasn’t that what we were talking about? Moving together? I gave you the chance to be the one to ask to give you leverage about moving to your place instead of here, but you gotta now that I am very attached to my little hole, and I will fight for it.”  
  
There is any number of reactions she could have to that, but the one that her body chooses is laughter. She laughs, a fit that is born in her lungs and climbs through her trachea to explode like an overpopulation of bubbles in her mouth. Only when it subdues, her muscles tender with the aching of a good sensation, she focuses herself enough to ask.  
  
“Moving together. How on earth did you get to that conclusion?”  
  
Kakashi sits up on the bed, hugging a pillow against his chest, and frowns.   
  
“I mean, you having to leave hurriedly to pass by your house before going to the hospital is not a good enough reason for you? Also, two living places mean double the amount of bills, and you know I am cheap.”  
  
Sakura ponders over telling him what she thought, but how many of her insecurities are her own and how many come from his lack of reassurance? How much is too much in terms of what she pretends of him versus who he is? There will be time for those discussions. There will be time to argue and to find a middle ground, and for them to drive each other to be better. There will be time for her insecurities and there will be time for his remaining walls. But for now, there is also this: she thought he didn’t want her, and he does. For now, that can be enough.  
  
“You know my rent is lower than yours-” It is a small comment to make after the rollercoaster of emotions she just went through in the last ten minutes, and yet it means everything.  
  
“Damn, I forgot about that.”  
  
“-but I could be convinced about keeping this one instead.” She sits on the bed and stretches her arms above her head. “With the proper concessions, of course.”  
  
Kakashi circles her waist with an arm and pulls her back against his chest.  
  
“Don’t you have to leave for the hospital?” His voice is rough while his nose tickles her earlobe, and maybe it’s true that commitment is one of the strongest aphrodisiacs there is because it sets her entire nervous system alight.   
  
“If I don’t have to go by my ex-house first, not yet.”


	8. “Give me a chance.”

“I already said no.”  
  
“And I already told you that it is unfair and stupid! You didn’t even give me a good reason.”  
  
“I don’t need a good reason. It is my prerogative and I said no.”  
  
Sakura, finally, sits down in front of him. It’s not the first time they are having this conversation, and it’s getting really old really fast. She already had a rage outburst yesterday, she does not have the energy to travel the same path today.   
  
“You wouldn’t say no to Naruto.” She is trying for his weakest points, but he is being impossible, stone-faced and calm.  
  
“You don’t know that. And Naruto didn’t ask.”  
  
She grips the seat of her chair with her fingers and draws strength to do a last attempt.  
  
“Please, Kakashi. Give me a chance. I promise I won’t make you ashamed.”  
  
That seems to give him pause, and after perusing her face for a long moment, he heaves a big sigh. He then starts taking off slowly his hat and his mask and rubs a hand down his tired face.  
  
“Sakura,” he finally redirects the conversation. “I don’t give you my recommendation not because you are a wrong fit for ANBU, but because ANBU is a wrong fit for you.”  
  
Sakura freezes; in broad strokes, she knows about his past, of course. She knows what the general population knows, everything Tsunade-shishou knew and was willing to tell her, very tiny snippets he has dropped here or there along all the years they have known each other. But this strong, actual relationship of sorts they are sharing is still new and blossoming; they are still discovering how they fit together, it’s too soon for her to start digging in all the baggage she knows he has.  
  
She gotta remember that ANBU is for him a past and not only a tattoo she kisses with hungry lips.  
  
But, also, there is a truth _he_ needs to remember.  
  
“You don’t get to make that call for me.”  
  
He is silent long enough for her to start considering leaving.   
  
“You are right.” He shuffles around the mess of papers on his desk until he finds what she can easily recognize as her application form, and he stamps his signature in a firm stroke. “There.” He tends the sealed scroll for her, but when Sakura is about to grab it, he withholds it. “But it comes with a condition.”  
  
She does not like making blank promises, but she trusts him enough to give him this.  
  
“Of course.”  
  
“There are still three days to apply, and you won’t present your application till the last one.” There is the minuscule tug of a smile on the corner of his lips; he knows how much she hates being irresponsible, and he gets off on making her do this, the bastard. But after he lets go of the scroll, he grows serious again. “Tonight, I will tell you all that is not classified about ANBU, objectively.”  
  
“Okay.”   
  
“Tomorrow, I will tell you about my history there, and what ANBU did to me, as a shinobi and as a person.” He takes a long breath, like the idea alone is enough to be exhausting. “After that, I won’t give any unsolicited opinion on your decision, and I will try to support it to the best of my ability and my conscience.”  
  
She swallows, slowly.   
  
“I think it’s more than fair.”

**Author's Note:**

> This story is part of LLF Comment Project, whose goal is to improve communication between readers and authors. This author invites:
> 
>   * Short comments
>   * Long comments
>   * Questions
>   * “<3” as extra kudos
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>   * Reader-reader interaction
> This author replies to comments (but it might take a while). If you'd rather not get a reply, please add *whispers* to your comment.



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